Growing Concern
by Andorian Ice Princess-AIP
Summary: A fight with a stranger, a confession and some quality time for Matt and Kelly. But what does Matt confess to Kelly alone that will draw them closer together? Based on eppy 2.12 'Out with a Bang' Contains some spoilers


**Title: Growing Concern**

**Summary: **At the boatyard, confiding in Severide seemed natural to Casey but after he does, will Severide be able to just let it go? And when something happens at the boatyard with Casey, will Severide be able to ignore it? What's really building inside his friend that has him so concerned? Based on eppy 2.12 'Out with a Bang' Contains some spoilers

**Disclaimer: **Chicago Fire and its characters are the property of Dick Wolfe, NBC and….well sadly not me if so then the ever yummy Lt. Casey would be all mine and we'd have a few sweet broments EVERY single eppy!

**A/N:** Hmm really liked the genuine broments tonight. A lot of really awesome #teamsevasey feels, even a small pat on the back (thank you Kelly) or the tender concern or a look. And HA take that Dawson! Matt confided in Kelly soooo awesome and hey lets face it, Dawson's just wrapped up in her own world to push back or notice the things Kelly notices about Matt! Thank you CF writers! Finally they get it! Just spoke volumes about the relationships and now we just need that to continue to grow until the season ends and then continue on thereafter hehe but in the meantime I hope you all like this piece. It will attempt to bridge last weeks and then continue into next weeks. So please enjoy and thanks!

_Note: "Words in double quotes and italics taken directly from the eppy"_

* * *

Each morning it was the same for him, he'd wake up from a nightmare, desperate to recall the days leading up to the accident and fill in the dark snippets that followed…clouded images and distorted faces all asking him what's wrong and if he's okay.

I'M FINE! Casey wants to yell at all those around him, pasting on a tight lipped smile and praying that everyone stops asking. BUT...his mind argues back…you want to tell someone, you know you do. _I do, _Casey has to inwardly admit. But someone who won't judge or nag and who has your best interests at heart. Casey's mind stops there as he knows inside whom that confidant is…Kelly. But so far the timing wasn't right. Would it ever come? Probably not at work. Boden only wanted to know one thing…

_"Casey, I see you haven't submitted the report for Quincy fire yet."_

_"Yeah I'm sorry about that. I'll get on it."_

_"Everything going okay? You feeling okay?"_

_"Feel great. Just been to the doctor and he said everything checks out so…so uh…yeah."_

_"That's exactly what I want to hear. So get that report done and let's put this behind us."_

_"Will do. Thanks chief."_

Casey pauses in his construction task to look over and see Severide watching in concern before he looks back down at the piece of wood he was working away on. Casey looks down at his hands, notices them slightly trembling and quickly recalls his brief discussion with Boden. _"I'm good…that's exactly what I want to hear…" _those words of Boden continue to dance in his head, forcing him to pause in his work and just stare at his hands in vain.

"Hey…you okay?" Severide asks loudly as Casey looks up with an almost blank expression. "Did you hear me?"

"No…yeah I hold on…I think I left…" Casey's voice trails off as he heads into the small metal tool shed, Severide watching in wonder and feeling something in his gut telling him that not everything was okay. Something's wrong.

"Found it!" Casey calls out as Severide offers him a small shrug and then goes back to his job. Casey nears the edge of the larger metal bin and looks at Severide for a few seconds; Boden's words still racing round and round inside his muddled brain until he literally can't take it – he has to confess – something. _You can trust Kelly…I can't…if I tell him he'll…he'll respect you you know that. You can confide in him…if I tell him then…it's out there and that means…I acknowledge I have a problem. You do have a problem! I don't. You do. TELL YOUR FRIEND!_

"Matt?" Severide's soft tone pulls Casey's heavily furrowed brow in his direction.

_I have to get that report done_, Casey inwardly argues. He'll help me with it…he was there. He's my friend…he'd do it for me. He knows what it's like to have a secret…to keep something from Boden until it was his time to deal with it. He'd do it for me right?

"Something's going on," Severide presses.

"Nothing's going on."

"I know you. Now tell me. What is it?" He asks directly. Casey hesitates, but Severide's presence, holds his hostage, unwilling to let go until he was satisfied with Casey's response.

_"I have a favor to ask," _Casey starts in a quieter tone, his heart starting to race so fast he'll wonder if he'll collapse on the spot or be able to just tell and walk away normally.

_"Sure." _

Even Severide's tone was comforting…inviting…almost soothing. Something about his friend's warm, pleading glance begged him to _want_ to tell him what was going on. Tell him! You came to him…only him for help for a reason. Trust your gut…trust your friend…get help. Please!

_"Uh, chief asked me to fill out the accident report for my injury. Doc said I checked out but that there might be some concussion related memory issues for a while since…I rang my bell pretty good. The thing is…I don't remember the two days leading up to the accident."_

All he could do was stare back in shock. Did he just say 2 days? He can't remember 2 whole days? No this can't be….he…he would have said something sooner. I heard that wrong. I did…right? _"What? Sounds like you got more than just your bell rung."_

And there it was…the beginning of his emotional end…or was it? It wasn't an accusatory statement, it was more a statement of concern and almost disbelief. As if he was saying…you can't be like this…you have to be fine. Once again the expression on Severide's face tells him that he can trust him. But as he feels his head starting to spin he knows now's not the time to confess everything. _You have to! I can't! _I don't have to tell him everything, Casey's mind tries to reason inside. I just tell him I'm fine and…he'll believe me right?

_"It's fine, trust me. I tell Boden and Red flags go up and suddenly everything becomes a big deal. I just need a hand with the report."_

With that Casey turns around to face his friend, his eyes begging Severide to just drop the subject. I'm fine…please believe me…please. I just need help. Just help with this and that'll be it…please? And the rouse works…for now.

Severide notices Casey's posture stiffen the longer the seconds slowly tick past and feels his heart starting to weigh heavily. Casey had confided in him…only him so far and that was something he'd value and trust. But just because he would prove to have his friend's back, this wasn't just something he'd sweep under the carpet and pretend wasn't a bigger issue. His concern could continue to grow.

_"Sure, yeah I'll help with the report."_

_"Great."_

Severide watches Casey reward him with a tight lipped smile and then turn back to go and collect a few pieces of wood. But inside the little nagging voice wasn't about to be silenced – yet. It was clamoring for its audience and would be heard. "Matt…" Severide starts as he nears him.

"I don't want a further discussion okay?" Casey lightly snaps as he pulls away from Severide and heads toward his truck. "Just not….right now."

"This is serious," Severide pulls him back in haste.

"I know and I'm dealing with it," Casey huffs as he tries to pull away.

"You are?"

"Yes. I just need help with the report," Casey reiterates as his agitation continues to surge; dangerous tsunami brewing within.

"Okay," Severide resigns as

Casey's teeth grit as his feels his head starting to throb; his hands gently shaking. He pulls his keys and stops, hearing determined footsteps behind him and readies himself for another emotional showdown.

"Hey…"

"LOOK I SAID I'M FINE!" Casey turns around and shouts. Only this time, it's not a friendly face looking back – in fact it's a stranger.

"Wh-what? Hey man sorry…" the stranger puts up his hands in surrender as Severide races around the corner.

"What's going on?" Severide demands in haste.

"I was just gonna ask for a light but your friend freaked out…never mind," the stranger huff as he backs away and then continues on toward the pier base where there would be more people. Casey's eyes pull back from the stranger to see Severide watching in concern.

"I thought it was you."

"Oh so that gives you the right?" Severide counters with a small smirk as Casey shakes his head in resignation and turns away. "This…angry, on edge, snapping at strangers guy…this isn't you," he reminds him calmly.

"I'm just…I'm fine and I just…" Casey stammers as he turns around with a heavy frown. "I just need the report. I'm okay."

Once again, it's the small things that force Severide's mind to take notice of what Casey isn't telling him. Tight fist…clenched jaw…sharply set eyes…rigid posture…tone? Contrite but pleading. He was such a cacophony of inner conflict it was easy to see if you wanted to see…if you were looking with concerned eyes. If you cared.

"Please?" Casey asks once more, this time his brow softening and his eyebrows offering the small dent of innocence that always tugs at Severide's heart and renders him almost captive to do anything for his friend – no matter what.

"Okay," Severide resigns as Casey's jaw finally relaxes and the tension starts to slowly subside. "But no more of this okay? No more snapping at strangers for no reason. I see it again, I will call you on it."

"Fair enough," Casey agrees, but only half heartedly. The growing angry tension inside was something that just seemed to pop up and explode at the most inopportune times. If it frustrated those around him, it frustrated him also. He watches Severide head back to their working area and feels his entire frame sag against the side of his truck and his head to gently bow.

_He said he'd help with the report…focus on that…use his strength and his friendship…his trust. _

XXXXXXXX

_"Hey…here's the accident report," _Severide hands Casey the letter sized manila folder; his eyes still heavy with concern and his voice thick with emotion.

_"Thank you."_

The time wasn't right as others were coming and Severide knows not to press the issue or back Casey into an emotional corner with others watching…others he hadn't confided in. That trusting part of their friendship he's not willing to strain or test the boundaries of. It wouldn't be fair to either of them. So a comforting pat on the back has to suffice until a later time. Would it ever come?

Casey's hands hold onto the folder, his mind eager to get it to Boden and put the matter of his health to rest – finally. But was that the end? As he walks to Boden's office, the folder seems to feel heavier and heavier with each step; the inner guilt not easing up or letting him forget, what a huge risk his friend took just to cover his back.

"Thank you," Boden tells Casey with a firm smile.

Casey nods to his superior and then takes his leave, his eyes darting out to Severide's in the kitchen area and feeling his brow furrow once more. _Would he ever get in trouble? _He remembers Severide telling him that on a few occasions Shay had covered for him but that while at the time he was grateful it wasn't something that he was proud of or told to anyone else, outside of him or of course Shay. But when a bond was that close…more so than even blood…it stood the test – no matter the consequences.

And that small gesture forces Casey's heart to continue to beg him to open up a bit more. _He's your crag…lean on him and use his strength…he's not going to emotionally blackmail you, you know that…open up! NOW! _

But he pulls away…the moment lost and the tension inside still being allowed to simmer. Casey slumps down into one of the chairs in the main eating area and feels his frame starting to sag, his eyes quickly darting around as he hurries to straighten up – his mind hoping that no one saw. But someone did.

_It's taking it's toll on him…_Severide's mind inwardly groans as he notices Casey stiffen when Hermann sits down and tries to engage him in small talk. _Something's going to give…and when it does…no don't think like that…thinking along those lines can only spell disaster and that's…no…he's going to be fine._

But as Severide watches Casey pull away from the group and disappear into the hallway – alone, he knows something's wrong. At the boatyard he opened up. Tomorrow they'd be back there…maybe…just maybe Casey would open up to him again. Maybe.

Casey's eyes bat away the burgeoning angry tears as he pushes his way into the men's bathroom and literally slams the door shut, slumping down on the closed toilet seat and dropping his head to his hands as his elbows rests on his knees. _This has to stop…I nearly chewed off Hermann's head for something so small…so stupid…I was irritated and…this isn't me…this isn't…_

His eyes slowly open and he stares at the stall door with an absent stare and glum heart. _You lied to the doctor…you lied to Boden…to everyone around you…you're lying to yourself! _His mind yells as he feels his fists ball and want to slam into the suffocating walls on either side of him. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! His mind yells once more as he takes a deep breath, hearing familiar voices and laughter outside and telling himself this isn't the place for a personal nervous breakdown. _Nervous breakdown? I'm not that guy! I can't…I can't be that guy…I can't._

Casey carefully extricates himself from the bathroom, hurries toward the lockers, gathers his jacket and heads for home, praying that tomorrow…things would be better.

XXXXXXXX

Casey shows up the boatyard before anyone else, opening up the storage bin and starting to quietly set things up for the work day ahead. He hears shuffling behind him and feels his stomach slightly tighten as his mind races to find the right words to tell Severide…open up a bit more but not tell him enough to get him benched for a longer duration.

But when he turns around, it's not exactly a friendly face he sees.

"You here alone?" One of the gruff strangers asks.

"What do you want?" Casey asks directly.

"Your wallet…and maybe some of them tools," the other gruff stranger replies firmly as both slowly descend upon the lone firefighter.

"Yeah well…forget it. If you want a fight, you'll get that."

"Oh we want one! And your wallet!"

The two strangers charge, figuring the man by himself would be an easy target to rob and leave unattended with whatever injuries they could inflict. Casey's lips emit a small gasp as a hard fist lands on his chest, his fist returning the favor and punching one of his attacker's in the face. Anger then unleashes and he starts to hit the first man in the face again…and again…AND again…until another strong set of hands is…not pulling the strangers away…but him.

"What the hell!" Severide's lips growl as yanks Casey back as Casey's flailing arms continue to strike into the air, wanting to hit his attackers as he saw he had the upper hand.

"Let go!" Casey shouts.

"Man he's insane! Let's get out of here!"

Severide holds Casey's struggling frame for a few moments longer until he finally let's go; Casey yanking himself free and pulling away a few paces, his chest heaving and face flushed.

"Want to tell me what that was all about?"

"No!" Casey snaps as he turns away in anger; Severide shaking his head in disbelief.

"Who started the fight _Casey_?"

Casey looks at Severide in angry contempt, resenting the use of his last name in such a demanding tone. He shakes his head and pulls away a few more feet and stops; his mind and heart both urging him to answer the question.

"Come on Matt…this isn't you," Severide tries again in a more tender tone. "What happened?" He asks, his grip on Casey's arm not letting him escape until the truth was made manifest.

"They started the fight. I was here minding my own business and they wanted my money and the tools…that's the truth," Casey confesses as he turns around in torment. "But when I started hitting him…Kelly it's like…I don't know…it's not me. I know it's not me but sometimes…I can't stop it. I just kept hitting him…might not have stopped unless you came. I…I don't know."

"You need to talk to someone about it."

"Who? Boden so he'll bench me? No way!" Casey gently hisses as he holds his ground. "Those guys…look they deserved what they got. What if you hadn't come along? I have the right to defend myself don't I?"

"Yes…course you do," Severide acknowledges in defeat. "But the guy was down."

"I have the right…I do," Casey's voice trails off as they hear a few friendly voices nearing them.

Severide can only inwardly scream at his friend's bullheadedness but knows that being overbearing with Casey doesn't work, it never has. And emotionally manipulating him like his mother has in the past, can only spell disaster. Casey has to feel like he's the one doing the confiding…like it was his idea. He's in control. Casey wasn't difficult to read…if you knew how to read him. So again he puts on a worried smile and waits.

But as they start into the project, Severide watches Casey with growing concern. _Did he just…he just forget that…no he…wait what? _Then it becomes almost too much for Severide to bear…one more incident and he'd say something. That situation was about to present itself. The little voice inside his friend crying for help would finally have their platform. And it would be more than telling…it would be troubling.

_"There's the miter saw over here," Casey mentions as Severide looks up in wonder._

_"What? No I have one. Thanks."_

But then…

_"The miter saw…it's over there."_

And that was it. The sign. The sign he could no longer ignore. The sudden fits of rage were one thing but this…_did he even hear me? Did he forget he just told me that? What's going on? _He couldn't ignore it. It pained him to see Casey like this and he has to act. _I don't care if it makes him angry…I care and I have to say something._

With that he pulls away from his task and nears Casey, Casey looking up and automatically pausing in what he was doing.

_"Hey I'm not one to preach to anybody but last year after my injury and things went south, the reason I made it through is because…I asked for help."_

It has to be said, Casey was floundering and it was obvious to anyone with a careful eye…anyone wanting to look with the intent to help. That was him.

_"The doctor was sure this is a temporary thing. The cobwebs are gonna clear up."_

Casey then pulls back after his somewhat staled statement and starts to putter once more. Severide hearing the major warning bells going off inside his mind and not wanting to back down. _Keep at him!_

_"You hear what I said?"_ The question is firm, but not loud enough to draw any other eyes over to them…just loud enough for the concern to be felt and forcing Casey to look up in near defeat. The expression of pain in Casey's warm blue eyes quickly starts to ache his heart…as if his friend was about to confess something he didn't want to hear. _Keep at him!_

_"I need to know you heard what I said," _Severide tries again with added concern, not wanting to give up or back down. Not with this much at stake – Casey's very life.

_"I did. Yeah," _Casey nods in haste as he turns around and tries to get back to his task at hand. But as he looks down and notices his fingers gently trembling he knows…lying hurts him…hurts them both more than he could imagine. The truth…at least some of it has to come out. He looks up…and as if sensing the wavelength of unspoken, emotional pain, Severide looks up at the same time also – their strong bond ensuring that they could even sense when the other was in distress, even without words being spoken. _Just tell him!_

_"It kinda comes and goes," _Casey finally confesses, Severide holding his glaze captive until he tells him what he feels he must.

_"What does?" _Severide presses.

_"Where I remember...chunks of time."_

_"Are we talking before or after the accident?" _Severide dares to push it a bit further. And then…the emotional bombshell is dropped._  
_

_"Both."_

Casey merely shrugs it off, his heart racing so fast he fears it'll explode and he'll collapse on the spot; his mind frantic that anyone else overheard the soft but very telling confession. He does the only thing he can do. He tries to escape.

"Hey wait a minute!" Severide hurries up to Casey, gently steering him toward the other side of the large metal work bin, where they could talk in private; not letting him escape, not wanting to. "Even now? So that's why…"

"I seem to say something…twice or not…hear…it's because if I did…I don't remember," Casey looks away in misery. When he finally looks back at Severide with soft watery eyes, Severide's heart literally shatters.

"Oh damn no," Severide gently curses as he gives Casey a small supportive hug and pulls back in concern. "Tell me."

"I'm scared," Casey admits in a deft whisper as he quickly swallows. "I know this isn't me but um…yeah."

"Okay, we need a plan," Severide tells Casey in a tender tone, Casey looking at him in surprise. "It hurts me to see you like this but you opened up and that's a good start."

"I just uh…I want to wake up and be just…all better you know?"

"Yeah…I know. I do know okay? I've been there and you know I can help. That's why you came to me…that's why we're having this discussion and we both know it. And I want to help. I told Boden about my injury and I'll leave the telling to him up to you but you know you have to. And you know if something happens that puts your life or one of the team in danger…I have to say something. You know that."

"I do. I just…I…I want this over."

"I do to," Severide states warmly as his hand rests on Casey's shoulder; Casey taking instant comfort in the supportive gesture. "But I will be watching okay? And if I see something…just not you, I'm gonna call you on it. In private if I can help it."

"I don't want to face this alone."

"You won't, okay? I promise."

Casey's eyes gently bat as he puts on a tight smile and nods, gently sniffing as he wipes his eyes and exhales heavily.

"You're not alone," Severide tells him plainly.

For a few brief moments, Casey basks in the tender warmth of his friend's strength and concern; the kind gesture and strong supportive words meaning so much – a mere thank you seemed pointless on his part. But it was the fact that Severide seemed to know him without much prodding, forcing him to put aside the phony lies he told everyone else and making him want open up to someone he trusts with his very life; someone he cares about in return.

"Ready to get back?" Severide asks after he allows Casey to fully regain his composure and rejoin their team, looking like nothing had happened.

"Yes," Casey nods softly.

"Good, now where is that miter saw?" Severide teases as he slaps Casey on the back; forcing his lips to offer a small chuckle at his own expense. His mind and heart finally settle; content that someone is watching out for him and that he was able to unburden at least some of what he was fighting with internally. Someone he trusted.

But as they rejoin their groups and go about their tasks, Severide carefully watches Casey and feels his mind start to gently race. _He needs help…and fast…this won't last and when it breaks…not good. _He would keep true to his word and keep a watchful eye on Casey, making sure that his friend doesn't stray too far toward the emotional precipice that he can't be pulled back from. He's not about to lose him after everything. He hears Casey starting to interact, hears the warm laughter and feels himself starting to smile in spite of his own inner tension.

However the conclusion today was the same as after the bar a week ago…an emotional storm was still brewing…still gaining strength and momentum and not yet backing down.

Still…waiting…

**THE END!**

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**A/N:** Yikes so I hope they remedy casey's anger and fast...but I LOVE him opening up to Kelly only and wanted to expand upon that a bit more and of course toss in a wee bit of whump and tension. Hope you all liked it and please do review and thanks!

**PS:** Never Give Up will update next :)


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